squattro

i'm so done. i'm not chasing you anymore. i'm through!

ladies shouldn't have to chase men!! they should be chased. and i've been busting my ass chasing you all summer and fall! i quit. it only gets me upset, and leaves me crying myself to sleep.

you KNEW we had plans last night. i specifically talked to you about them. i have to work tonight, so we would hang out last night. i took allllllllll evening getting ready and you didn't even have the courtesy to call me and tell me you were not gonna have time for me!!! you jackass! you'd been home 45 minutes when you finally answered my phone call. that plus the two hours of driving from natchitoches before then, you could have called to say, "hey i know we had plans, but i'm not gonna be able to hang out tonight" maybe three hours before i caught up with your stupid ass, i wouldn't have been so hurt. gentlemen do not make girls cry.

and then! you'd already told him that you'd go drink with them. i think you're an alcoholic. why would you tell him you could hang out, but you wouldn't even let me come see you??!! you've been to my house once. you say you like me. you sleep with me. every weekend. but yet, when i asked you what we were, you said "taking it slow." bullshit. i've put everything into this pseudo-relationship, just to get tears in return. and bladder infections. well, i quit, buddy.

last week, i physically DRUG your drunk ass across the yard in front of my family so i could take you to YOUR house. and put you in YOUR bed. i took care of you. i took your shoes off. i was so sweet to you. what thanks do i get? "you shoulda left me there" you're wrong. i'm thinking maybe i should have scooted you CLOSER to the fire. jerkwad.

i bought you a book you wanted. i thought it was a nice gesture. now i'm thinking a nice gesture would be to rip out all the pages and put it on your car for you to find. i just love how you ignored my phone calls for the rest of the night. and I FUCKIN KNOW THEY SHOWED UP ON YOUR PHONE, so you COULDA called me back this morning. but... no.... "if me and him get done early, i'll give you a call" have you called yet? i don't understand why you and him LIVE together during the week and every weekend you're over at his fuckin house? he's never at your house. you are such an idiot. you still havent called. i go to work in an hour and a half. fuck. you. god. damn. bastard.

i've got at least SEVEN guys who are begging me to go out with them. i keep turning them down for you. a waste of time and effort. i'm so glad you're willing to fit me, your whore, into your busy schedule this weekend.

drunk and wearing flipflops on fifth avenue.

i freakin love wild honeysuckle flavored stuff. i'm going to take a bath in my antibacterial hand soap.

i like him. :) i really do. he's being so sweet. still kinda distant, but sweet.

3

geez louisiana.

i'm tired.

my biceps ache.

i lifted heavy boxes all day.

i'm going to take a bubble bath.

day 2 of bloggage.

i dunno why but that title reminds me of ehren ebbage.

ha.

ok, so, day 2.

today i was so sick. snively and coughy. so mom printed of this forward she got from her hotmail account. (which she cannot figure out the new format and constantly sends me emails that stretch aaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllll the way across the page) anywho. the forward mentions how putting vick's vaporub on the bottom of your feet and covering them with cotton socks will keep you from coughing and sniffling all night. so, i just rubbed vaporub alllll over my tootsies and covered them with unmatching, but still cotton, white socks. so far... my throat feels a lot looser and i can swallow normally. my nose is still stuffy though. i think this is a great idea, if it works, because i am one of those people who HATES vaporub on my chest, face, neck, etc... it's gross. but if i can hydrate my feet and breathe easier at the same time, then why not. just remember to wait until the morning to shower. otherwise, you'll smell like old folks all day. which is exactly where i got the vick's from: my gramma's house.

i also started my new job at bath and body works today. it was interesting. very clean and white. which, i LOVE. no one really paid much attention to me, but then again there were a lot of people there from other beebeedub stores who didn't know each other. so, i didn't make any new friends today, and i kinda stayed in my own little area and opened boxes. which, by the way, i sliced my right pinky finger on one!! ow!! it bled, but no one saw. it was so white in there, i was extra careful not to get blood on anything. i was successful. i do have to wash my jacket now though. eh. tomorrow shall be easier. i hope.

i've been slacking in school. and i'm really ok with that.

men. can't live with em. that's all.

i do have several guy friends who are excellent conversationalists. i really enjoy talking to them on the phone. i used to feel bad about talking to other guys for long periods of time when i was "seeing someone" but, i am just one of those persons who thoroughly enjoys excellent conversation. and a sense of humor. that's a big one. and several of these facets have been missing lately in recent conversations.

doesn't it suck when you feel like you are intruding on someone's space and time? it makes me cry when people who say they want to talk to you really and truly don't mean what they say.

ah well, that's life.

my gramma is coming home from the psychiatric ward tomorrow. can't wait.

deuces.

numero uno

so, this is my first blog. i really needed something besides myspace to get out my thoughts. i have so many.

it always seems that no one of the opposite sex pays you any mind until you decide on one to chase. when you're occupied, i swear... more men come knocking on your door than flies on cake! of course, if you take a look back... most of them aren't that great.

but it's the person you chase and want that makes you cry. and he doesn't even know it. i'm tired of chasing. i wanna be chased.

i have a new job. it's very stark and feminine. i'm a bit excited.

i still would like to move to sweden.

i feel like if i come here and get out EVERYTHING i need to say, maybe i'll look like less of a myspace nerd. lol.

i don't know why, but everytime i have a project due the next day, i'm always on the internet goofing off.

i find that googling jude law always makes me feel better. :)